DO, DON’T BE

Organisational psychologist Adam Grant published Give and Take, a book that challenged a lot of assumptions about success.

One thing that stood out was his view on authenticity.

He pointed out that “be yourself” can be confusing or even counterproductive advice – especially when you’re trying to grow.

It’s a helpful reminder when we think about communication.

We often hear things like “be more confident” or “be authentic”. But those phrases focus on identity. They sound good, but they’re hard to act on.

Telling someone to “be confident” is like telling someone to “be a runner”. It skips the steps.

What helps more is clear, specific action: practise your talk three times out loud, make eye contact, pause before your key point.

These are things you can do – and doing them builds the skill that, over time, creates the confidence.

When we shift from identity-based advice to behaviour-based advice, we give ourselves something real to work with.

You don’t need to “be” confident. You just need to practise the things that confident people do.

Timeless Presenter, my new book on the principles of communication that never expire, will be released soon.

If you’d like to be notified when it’s out, you can join the early access list here.