In this episode of the Ideas on Stage Podcast, Mary Mackenzie shares how Nonviolent Communication (NVC) helps leaders and professionals build stronger relationships, give feedback without defensiveness, and align their actions with their values. Learn practical strategies to communicate with empathy, clarity and impact.
In this episode of the Ideas on Stage Podcast, Mary Mackenzie, Certified Trainer of Nonviolent Communication and CEO of the NVC Academy, joined us to explore the power of Nonviolent Communication (NVC) in leadership, business and everyday life.
Mary explained that NVC is more than a philosophy – it’s a practical process that helps us bring empathy and compassion into conversations, even when tensions are high. It offers clear tools to move away from blame and defensiveness and toward honest, respectful communication.
One of the core ideas we discussed is that everything people say is an attempt to meet a need. Recognising this helps us listen beyond the words and connect at a deeper level. Mary shared how identifying needs – such as respect, understanding and connection – can transform difficult conversations into opportunities for collaboration.
We also talked about the importance of self-empathy. Before we can understand others, we must first understand our own feelings and needs. Self-empathy allows us to respond rather than react, aligning our actions with our values instead of being driven by old patterns.
Another key principle Mary emphasised is distinguishing observations from evaluations. In NVC, making clear observations (rather than judgments) reduces misunderstandings and defensiveness. For example, saying “I noticed you arrived at 9:10” creates a very different response than saying “You’re always late.”
When it comes to giving feedback, Mary emphasised the importance of your intention. The key question is: why are you giving feedback? If it comes from a place of care – a genuine desire to support the other person’s growth – it’s more likely to be received well. She also stressed the value of clarity: focus on specific, observable behaviour and link it to relevant needs and requests. This approach invites dialogue and reduces defensiveness.
Mary also challenged the common belief that results matter more than relationships. She shared her own experience of learning that investing in relationships actually improves efficiency and team performance. Taking the time to connect with colleagues can save time and build a stronger, more motivated team.
Finally, we discussed how empathy does not require agreement. In NVC, empathising means seeking to understand another person’s feelings and needs – not necessarily agreeing with their views. This skill allows us to create space for different perspectives while maintaining respect and authenticity.
Throughout the conversation, Mary shared some real-life examples that illustrated how Nonviolent Communication can support dialogue, leadership and conflict resolution in practice. Her message was clear: when we align our actions with our values, everything works better – both professionally and personally.
This conversation with Mary Mackenzie offered valuable insights into empathy, feedback and how to communicate in ways that strengthen connection and trust.
To hear more of Mary’s perspective on Nonviolent Communication, watch the full interview on YouTube.
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