In this episode, Alfie Joey shares practical strategies to improve your interviewing and communication skills. Learn how to ask better questions, listen for key moments, and create conversations that engage and deliver real value.
Most professionals spend time preparing what to say.
Few spend enough time thinking about what to ask.
Yet in many situations – client meetings, interviews, panel discussions – the quality of your questions shapes the quality of the conversation.
LEGO received a letter from a seven-year-old named Luka Apps. Luka had spent his Christmas money on a Ninjago figure – and lost it the very next day during a shopping trip.
He wrote to LEGO customer service, explaining what happened and promising to never bring his figures out again.
Most companies would’ve ignored the letter or sent a generic reply. Instead, LEGO responded with a personal letter “from” a Ninjago character.
In the 1980s, psychologist John Sweller ran a study to understand how people learn best.
One group of students got a diagram with a spoken explanation.
Another group got the same diagram with written text instead.
Which group learned more?
The ones who listened rather than read.
Why?
Because the brain processes visuals and sounds differently.
A diagram and a voice – that works.
But written words and spoken words go through the same mental channel – and that creates overload.
It’s the expectations we attach to it.
In her book Connect, Carole Robin shares a helpful way to think about fear: it often comes from False Expectations Appearing Real.
Most speaking fear comes from stories we tell ourselves – that it should feel easy, that nerves mean we’re not ready, that we must deliver a perfect performance.
Those expectations aren’t real.
Fear is natural.
Every speaker feels it.
What matters is not eliminating fear but stepping up despite it.
Conductor Mirga Gražinytė-Tyla led the City of Birmingham Symphony Orchestra in a performance of Mahler’s Symphony No. 1.
Critics praised her command of silence – how she used long pauses to heighten the impact of what came next.
Reviewers focused on the music and the tension in the quiet moments.
They described how her use of pauses shaped the performance – how even the rests felt alive.
When you pause during a talk, it feels uncomfortable.
Carpenter and boatbuilder Douglas Brooks apprenticed under one of the last surviving traditional boatmakers in Japan.
The craftsman, in his eighties, demanded that Brooks follow one rule: no writing, no sketches. Just observation and repetition.
Brooks spent weeks watching, copying, failing, adjusting – absorbing a way of thinking.
In the process, he said he found something rare: a deep sense of craft.
He went to Japan to preserve a skill. He left with something more – the joy of doing the work well.
Psychologists Daniel Kahneman and Barbara Fredrickson studied how people remember experiences.
Their research revealed something simple and powerful: we don’t remember everything. We remember two parts – the peak and the end.
This is known as the peak-end rule.
It matters in public speaking.
You already know the importance of a strong conclusion.
But your audience also needs a moment during your talk that stands out – a peak.
It’s a moment that might surprise or delight your audience. But most of all, it sticks.
Skill builds confidence.
Confidence encourages action.
Action builds more skill.
That’s the loop.
At the start, you don’t feel confident.
So you practise. You improve. The task feels more familiar. Confidence grows a little.
Because you feel more confident, you raise your hand more often. You take on bigger challenges. You speak up. That gives you more experience.
More experience builds more skill.
More skill strengthens confidence.
The loop reinforces itself.
